Chapter 12 The stigma of networking.

In as much as networking is a necessity in our daily lives, it is possible to go overboard with this communication technique. We have all heard of the sales personality and the multi-level marketing scams where our best friends try to sell lots of impractical products to us or where people think John the neighbor (and the award winning real estate agent) is unrealistic in his humor because he is always boisterous, energetic, lively, animated and just a little too dynamic. These types of behaviors label the networker quickly. This begs the following question. Isn’t it possible to balance the necessity to network with our personal lives?

The good news is that there is a way to do this. Sometimes people wish they had known that there is a way to avoid the salesman’s personality in the pejorative sense. Perhaps the most concise way to describe this solution is to think of our professional networking activities as just that. They are professional activities. Hang up your hat when you get home. Meaning do not mix professional with personal. This is not so easy to do. In the same way the Managing Director of The Acme Automotive Company directs the family when she gets home, or Dr. Little who is Director of operations at Phentec Pharmaceuticals barks orders out to her husband as she is required to do in the office, it is important to manage our professional and personal habits. This is very subtle and requires good behavior to execute.

How do you hang your work hat up when you get home? Perhaps the best technique for doing this at first is to maintain a low key. React to what people are saying instead of initiating the conversation. Permit for your conversation partner to lead the way. React but do not control. This can be difficult when our job is to animate all day long. Become a listener and react to what is being said. Remember your conversation partner is not a network contact. Even if she is. She will appreciate your style. People do not like to be networked with. Master networks are aware of this and are very good at controlling their network mode.

So, before you loose too many friends or even if you find that your are loosing track of your personal self, think about the following: Shouldn’t you consider the consequences of your networking behavior on your personal life? Find the answers in the next chapter?

From Networking for Dummies
Van Buren Publishing 2007